


Chasing everything that's new

by lesbiAndi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Episode IX if Kathleen Kennedy wasn’t a COWARD, F/F, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Force-Sensitive Finn, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Finn (Star Wars), That's Not How The Force Works, a very special day in the life of Finn, gays and lesbians in space being queer in space, omg that's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16410794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiAndi/pseuds/lesbiAndi
Summary: Finn propped his head against one hand while raising his glass again with the other, prepared for a night of sipping cocktails and embracing thoughtlessness.The strum of a guitar suddenly broke his reverie. On a beat-up stool on top of the shamble of planks they dubbed a stage sat Poe Dameron, brown-ochre curls falling partially into the man’s concentrated face as he tuned up an old acoustic guitar.





	Chasing everything that's new

**Author's Note:**

> OK so the fic goes along with this vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URchUjgghb0 of Oscar Isaac from the movie "10 years", I haven't seen it but his singing's really beautiful and the lyrics so well encompass Finn and Poe's feelings for each other. The timestamps in brackets correspond with where in the video that moment is, and I imagine in my head that the way Poe sings it is almost the exact same as the way he sings in the clip. The species of the bartender is made up, as is the weird drink Finn orders, I don't know if I characterized Finn's squad accurately because all I've read of them is from fanfic and I did have some help editing but if y'all notice anything just tell me!

[INTERIOR a makeshift CANTINA at the RESISTANCE BASE]

The air inside was smokey. That’s the first thing Finn noticed as he drifted through the doorway. Stars knew it had been centuries since galactic doctors had discovered the dangers of cigarettes- and yet here Finn was, a light fog around his head illuminated by the half-light of the ancient fairy lights strung around the Resistance’s one and only cantina. Jess had insisted they were an aesthetic choice, but Finn knew it had more to do with the fact they were the only ones she and Rey could find. It didn’t matter either way to Finn. It had been a long day, and he just needed a drink.

It had started, as so many do, with a nightmare. He woke up in a cold sweat, the end of a scream dying on his lips. He had to rub his eyes many times to convince himself that it wasn’t real, it was his just cot and not the unforgiving sands of Jakku supporting his knees, it was just perspiration and not Slip’s blood he was feeling on his face. Luckily, after a minute of heavy breathing he realized what had woken him in the first place: BB-8 banging on his bedroom door with increasing urgency. Finn stumbled over to press the open button, and the little ball rolled in quickly, right up to his shins, and bumped into him surprisingly gently. Of course, for the droid, “surprisingly gently” meant they didn’t bowl Finn the hell over and they were currently sitting on Finn’s toes, but he just closed his eyes, patted the astromech droid’s head, and tried to let the comfort seep in. In contrast to the droid’s loud nature, he was a huge help in quieting Finn’s head. Somewhat.

After breakfast, he went down to the cargo bay to meet Rose. She had been giving him lessons in mechanics, and he generally enjoyed them because 1. He was eager to learn any and every thing he hadn’t under the First Order and 2. He was happy to spend time with his friend. They’d been through a lot together, Rose and him. She’d taught him so much- not just about mechanics, but also the cause and hope and faith. So yes, he was grateful for Rose. What he was emphatically not grateful for was the wrench she accidentally dropped on his head about 10 minutes into their lesson. When he woke up in the medbay with a pain radiating out from over his right eyebrow, Finn had blinked and sighed internally. He supposed he should have seen this coming. It had been Rey’s habit to drop in during Finn’s lessons to see him and -moreso- Rose, and since the two women were going on their first date that evening, he should have expected the pair to be extra flirty and flustered. But still, absentmindedly showing off your skills at spinning a wrench around when your best friend is beneath you, fixing the circuit you told him to fix? Not cool. 

Aaaaaaaand then Finn flicked his eyes over to the side and saw who seated there. The motion caught the eye of one General Poe Dameron, whose face immediately shifted from clenched worry to a blinding smile that made Finn’s head feel even lighter than it already was (blow to the head and all). He greeted Finn with a cry of relief, two warm hands gripping his forearms, and soft, glowing brown eyes. Finn wanted to drown in them- willingly would if it meant he’d end up in the medbay again greeted by this man, lighting up like Finn had been out for weeks again instead of just a half hour. Words flowed between them, but Finn didn’t remember a single thing. Although, that might have been a symptom of the mild concussion. But it wasn’t long before Poe had to go- some mission with Snap and Káre. Even with the promise they’d catch up later, Finn couldn’t help the bitter taste that filled his mouth when Poe walked away. He asked the medical droid if that, too, could be a symptom of concussion. It pinned him with a long and unnecessarily disdainful stare and ushered him out.

The next couple hours were occupied with Force-training/meditation with Admiral Leia and Rey. The Admiral had been teaching the two clueless Force-sensitives what she knew about the Force, and at the same time giving them lessons on something they were equally clueless about- normal life. It was not his favorite time of the day. As much as he admired and respected the Admiral, sitting still for hours poking around his own mind with all its brutal memories and fragmented conditioning was Not Fun. He mainly used the time to psychically poke fun at Rey about her upcoming date and for causing her girlfriend to knock him unconscious, which made her blush and tease him back about daydreamers lacking spatial awareness and pilots with warm brown eyes. This went back and forth, each of them struggling more and more to hold in both their cries of indignation and laughter. Finn imagined having Rey is like what having a sibling would be like. This feeling was only confirmed when Leia caught Rey’s tiny giggle, giving the two of them a deadpan stare tinged with her own silent amusement and the sad strain of memory.

After Force lessons, the afternoon went by in a blur. He lunched with Rey, went to an hour-long briefing in which he racked his brain for any more useful information related to the First Order, cleaned his personal ‘fresher, fixed the sink in the third corridor bathroom that had been bugging everyone for a week, caught a glimpse of Poe coming out of the showers, tried very hard to forget it, sparred with Rey, and helped the young Jedi with some other odd pieces of ship’s maintenance on the Falcon. Soon enough the time had come for Rey and Rose’s date. The Resistance was still struggling in the shadows, so they couldn’t do anything fancy, but the girls had decided on a dinner picnic on the grassy knoll right outside the base- the kind of thing neither had had the chance to enjoy while growing up. They were both adorably in love, and adorably nervous/excited… which meant Finn spent a full 40 minutes not-so-adorably running back and forth between their quarters helping with everything from hair to food choices to answering wether or not you can wear engine oil-stained capris on a date- a question he got from both of them and to which he both times answered emphatically NO. Even he knew that. 

Once Finn had pulled Rey out of the room before she could experiment with anymore newly-discovered “lipstick”, pushed Rose out the door shouting assurances that yes she did look good and yes Rey actually liked her and no she should absolutely not just find an escape pod to crawl into and hide in until this “all blows over”, and saw the two of them absolutely melt at the sight of each other before finally, finally, taking each others’ hands and leaving without so much as a wave goodbye, Finn leaned against the wall and breathed a sigh of relief. His best friends might be two useless lesbians, but they had found each other and Finn was unbelievably happy for them. They were making something special together. And that shouldn’t make him feel like shit but it kind of- did. Two of the four only important people to him in the galaxy were off alone together figuring out love in this fucked-up galaxy of theirs, and he was left behind. It made him feel lonely and hollow. And, although he didn’t feel anything more than platonic friendship love for either of them, something about their hands clasped together with their gazes locked made him feel longing deep in his bones. Finn shook out the hollowness, shook off the feelings, like he always did, like he was trained to do. It had been a long day. He needed a drink.

The young Resistance fighter raised a hand to catch the bartender’s attention, and ordered the first thing he saw on the short menu scrawled behind the bar. With inhuman speed it was frothing and in his hand. The bartender sent him a pleasant smile. “On the house.” Finn accepted it with some bemusement and a nod of thanks. Do I really look that pathetic?

Deciding not to dwell on it, Finn slumped into his seat at the corner of the counter and tilted the viscous purple liquid into his mouth. He was slightly startled by the spiciness- but not unpleasantly so. It combined the distinct burn of alcohol with the spice of chili peppers and, for some reason, the full-bodied sour-sweetness of ripe blackberries. An appreciative hum left his throat, and Finn propped his head against one hand while raising his glass again with the other, prepared for a night of sipping cocktails and embracing thoughtlessness.

The strum of a guitar suddenly broke his reverie. He turned his head to locate its source. On a beat-up stool on top of the shamble of planks they dubbed a stage sat Poe Dameron, brown-ochre curls falling partially into the man’s concentrated face as he tuned up an old acoustic guitar. Finn had seen the relic before on a couple of occasions. Poe had even played it for him and Rey once, when she had half-remembered a melody from childhood and Poe tried to help her recapture it. Their voices mingled together, hers beatified by emotion and his beautifully and unobtrusively supportive. It made Finn feel a lot of unspoken things. Happy to see his friends so happy, truly lucky to have found them, and a spike of some almost-painful unnamed something when Poe grinned over at him mid-verse. The memory made part of Finn want to run, leave the drink and the bar and the man behind and maybe never stop running. Maybe Rose’s “curl up in an escape pod and never come out” idea had more merit than he’d given it. This was meant to be a night of not thinking. But as he watched his best friend, his first connection outside the First Order, expertly fiddle with the tuning keys and regard the instrument with the same soft smile he had given Finn earlier in the medbay, Finn decided not to run. Something about Poe Dameron completely entranced him. He couldn’t help but stay.

On stage, the man in question seemed to be lost in his own world. When Snap tapped him on his hunched left shoulder, he started a little, before quickly breaking back into the smile that almost always graced his face. He accepted the microphone proffered to him and gave a small cough into it to get the room’s attention. A few people stirred, but Finn noticed most kept up their own drunken conversations. This didn’t seem to phase Poe much though. Finn wondered if Poe did this often, and he just hadn’t come to the cantina enough to know. 

“Um. Hey everyone. Hope you’re all having a lovely night. Tonight I’m gonna play an old ballad from my mom’s homeworld that she taught me how to play almost before she taught me how to fly.” The man chuckled, a glint of laughter in his eyes. “Almost.” As suddenly as the laughter had come, it left, replaced by a wry smile that didn’t match the suppressed pain and sadness in his eyes. Finn was shocked and confused. What does Poe Dameron, the man with the perfect life and the perfect skills and the perfect face (and the perfect ass) have to be sad about? It made him hurt, made him yearn to offer help. Poe continued, “This song’s been on my mind a lot for a while now, I hope you enjoy it.” He set the microphone into its stand and began to play.

[0:10] The introduction was a somewhat fast-paced series of notes forming a rhythmic, folksy melody. Amplified by its own mic, the guitar’s sounds resonated through the medium-sized room, and the voices that had once filled the space fell away as their owners’ attention was drawn to the stage. Finn, like everyone else, was spellbound. Even though he had never heard the song before, it felt familiar- on the surface light and undemanding, but also pensively sad in a way one could instinctively feel but not tangibly define. It hit him suddenly, like a bolt of lightning. The emotion Poe was conveying was “longing”.

[0:25] “I’ve been gone for / so long now/,” the words drifted out across the crowded space, imbued with the exact emotion conveyed by the bittersweet half-smile on the singer’s face. Finn was once again blown away by the soulful beauty of his friend’s voice. It made his heart ache with the same unspoken feelings as last time, causing him to gasp. This drew the eyes of the bartender and a few nearby patrons, but Poe’s half-lidded gaze was fixed on his fingers and the strings.

[0:31] “Chasing everything that’s new/,“ the line was punctuated by a faint chuckle. He swayed along to the melody slightly as he sang. “I’d forgotten / how I got here/,“ and suddenly, his startling eyes flicked up to stare across the room, “But I have not forgotten you”. For a moment, Finn panicked, thinking Poe had spotted him. But on closer inspection the man’s eyes were clearly focused on something far in the distance, someone in his mind. Still, Finn could feel, deep in his midichlorians, that Poe was indeed directly addressing him. But what? Why? Finn’s brain scrambled, trying to put coherent thought together, to read the layers in the veiled depths of Poe’s eyes. He was caught in between the conflicting shouts of Han’s gruff That’s not how the Force works! and Leia’s assertive If you feel something, follow it.

[0:52] Not cognizant of one listener’s psychological crisis, the cause of said crisis continued to sing, “We were just children / But our eyes opened and / you were all that I could see”. He smiled, as though reliving some private memory. Finn’s heart fluttered. “You came close enough / To know my heart-beat, but /“ Poe’s face screwed up into a wry, self-deprecating expression, “still not close enough for me.” The audience could see the feeling in his face, hear it building in the chords leading up to the chorus. Finn’s eyes once again caught on Poe’s beautiful face, and was pinned to the spot- all he could do was sit and listen. Poe melodically belted out, “Through the good times and the bad / You were the best I never had”. It was entrancing. Poe was clearly throwing his all into the performance- a mixture of earnest musical zeal, catharsis, rue, yearning, and unending, desperate fondness. One could almost think it was… Finn’s breath caught in his throat. Love. His mind quickly flashed through a series of memories- two of his fellow stormtroopers secretly kissing in the barracks, another’s bitter muffled sobs after their partner returned from reconditioning a blank unfeeling slate, a glimpse he’d caught of the Admiral and Solo’s final hug goodbye, Kare Kun leaning into the cockpit of a blushing Jessika Pava’s X-Wing, Rey and Rose clasping hands. It was clear as day, blunt and obvious as a Star Destroyer in the middle of the Jakku desert- Poe Dameron was in love. 

[1:10] The realization pulsed through Finn’s arteries like an explosion as Poe continued to sing. (The only chance I wish I had to take/). His thoughts were racing, trying to reconcile that Poe loves someone. Poe is in love with someone. My Poe is in love with someone. Suddenly his brain froze to a halt. “My” Poe? Where had that thought come from? For the third time that evening, Finn felt the breath knocked out of him, not even hearing the chorus continue. (“There was no writing on the walls / No warning signs to follow / I know now) When had he started to conceive of Poe as his- and why did it hurt so bad to imagine the pilot falling in love with someone? He tried to trace his way back, sift through the threads of memories from the last two years all the way back to his fateful first conversation with the then-Captain in that storage closet on Kylo Ren’s starship, himself terrified and desperate for escape and Poe gleaming with blood and sweat. Their few years together yielded countless memories of friendship, discovery, terror, triumph, jubilation, tension, contentment- everything.

The bartender, looking over at Finn, clearly saw that something was wrong. She gripped the man’s shoulder- and that’s when everything in Finn’s mind came crashing into place. He could feel his hand around Poe’s arm as he ushered him through the starship corridor, Poe’s arms wrapped around his back as they reunited on Yavin, Poe’s hand heavy on his shoulder before they rushed into the battle at Starkiller Base, Poe’s fingers gripping his forearms desperately after he emerged from hibernation. Finn felt again the numerous casual, gentle, monumental touches the two had exchanged- a touch of the hand to project assurance during a long night, a hug and shake of the shoulder in the high after a successful mission, playful shoves and jubilant high-fives and guiding movements as Finn learned to live a free and happy life. Saying that Poe falling in love with someone pained him was not 100% accurate, Finn realized. What pained him was actually the man falling in love with someone else.

Finn was in love with Poe Dameron. He had always been in love with Poe Dameron.

[1:26] Finn opened his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he’d shut them. The world looked fuzzy, the lights getting brighter, and his head reverberated with a high-pitched buzzing. He realized nothing around him was any different- and yet everything was. As light had, sound too soon phased back into existence, dropping Finn into the middle of a phrase. “- and I just can’t forget / You’re the best I never had”, Poe crooned, “na na na”. Dizzy with revelations, Finn breathed in the words rolling off his friend - his crush- ’s tongue. “Never had”? So he was pining after someone, some man (because Poe had confided that much in Finn about his sexual/romantic life) he hadn’t made acquainted of his love. So I’ve still got a chance, a small and traitorous voice in the back of Finn’s head whispered, which Finn tried to shush. Despite his earlier feelings in the Force, there was no guarantee or even real possibility now that he was the subject of Poe’s melodies, and Finn knew that the moment Poe did confess to whoever was that he would be accepted immediately- because, as Finn experienced firsthand, who could know General Dameron and not love him?

[1:39] The whiskey-deep timbre of Poe’s voice continued to flow out of him and wrap around the entranced cantina patrons, thick like molasses and smooth like smoke, tinged with potent yearning that recalled growing pains and first love robbed by time. His eyes glinted, reflecting the gold of the lights around him, and his fingers moved as though on an Aeolian harp, independent and relentless. “And in this motel/“ he intoned, stretching the vowels as the music allowed, “well past midnight / When I’m bluer than a bruise/“. The lyrics helped ground Finn a little, painting a picture of the past- a scene of neon lights and rainy sidewalks plucked right out of one of the old holovids Poe was so fond of. On the next line, wether consciously or not, the singer lifted hopeful eyes towards the cantina’s entrance as he sang, “You come drifting in, through the half-light/“. His gaze fell back down to the guitar, hair once more obscuring his eyes and a fond smirk on his lips, “In your funny yellow shoes”. Finn’s brows furrowed, his stomach clenched. Poe had to have been looking for this mystery love of his. Who was he? He must be somewhere out there, elsewhere on the base- or else what could the glance have meant? The ex-First Order, current-Resistance fighter scanned the room to see who could be eliminated from the question that was burning a hole in his heart. He caught a glimpse of Snap Wexley, seated off to the side of the stage, regarding his squadron-leader-slash-friend with a constipated look. At a table nearby sat Jess & Kare, shamelessly staring at each other with bedroom eyes, and the rest of Poe’s beloved squadron. In fact, save Rey, Rose, and Admiral Organa, almost every member of the Resistance was scattered around the room- including, to his surprise, the Force-ghost of Luke Skywalker, who was nodding along with a look of complete empathetic understanding. To Finn’s knowledge, everyone of Poe’s acquaintance- everyone who he could be in love with- was sitting right there around him. 

[2:05] The General continued his ballad, adding “And I hope that’s you standing / at my doorway / and that’s the scratching of your key /“. This time the doorway caught his eyes and held it, the fervent unadulterated wishful hope in his gaze searing its image into Finn’s retinas along with the words, “And I hope this song I’m singing / Someday finds you / Wherever you may be.” The young, confused, and obstinately obtuse man at the bar was filled to bursting with many thing, all difficult to verbalize. Staring directly at the man he loved in the midst of a dazzling display of both technical talent and open emotion made him want to smile, and laugh, and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. It also made him want to cry. He wanted nothing more than to hold Poe in his arms and absorb his ardor and pain, and yet he was also grateful to stay hidden, paralyzed in the shadows. He heard Han and Leia’s voices again, this time unified (for once), tell him in no uncertain tones: That’s love, kid.

[2:31] “Ooooh / Through the good times and the bad / You were the best I never had/,” This time around, Finn took time to listen to the lyrics of the chorus, weighed them in his palms and felt them transport him far away from the Outer Rim planet they were on and into a plane where he and Poe alone existed. It struck Finn that the sentiment in the ancient words Poe was giving life to directly mirrored his own. The good times and the bad times - they’d been through plenty of both together. And yet, never together- never as close enough as Finn now realized he wanted to be. 

[2:38] “The only chance I wish I had to take/“ Poe’s meandering gaze almost met Finn’s- and Finn mourned the loss of an opportunity to show Poe his utter devotion and sunburnt new hope that they could mean so much more to each other. Or be so much more to each other- Finn was pretty sure Poe already meant more to him than the whole galaxy. 

[2:44] “But there was no writing on the walls/“ Finn was an idiot- it had taken him so long to realize that Poe was right from the beginning. He needed a pilot. 

[2:47] “No warning signs to follow/“ If only… 

[2:51] “I know now and I just can’t forget / You’re the best I never had”. He was. He absolutely was. Along with Rey, Rose, and BB8, Poe Dameron was the best thing in his life, and the missing piece that had allowed him to find all the other good things in it. Finn’s tongue was drying up in his mouth and his brain was positively drowning as Poe finished out the song- this man in front of him was truly the best thing he’d never had. And he may have lost him before even realizing he was there.

The sound of clapping broke Finn out of his tearful meditation. The whole cantina, from the front tables to the bartender in the back had erupted into applause for the seasoned pilot sitting in unassuming clothes on the battered barstool in front of them, blinking dazedly as though he’d forgotten there was an audience he was playing for. Finn saw Kare and Jess tipsily stand up and give him a loud whoop and a louder wolf whistle respectively. Even the Mon Calamari that had been passed out in the seat beside Finn since before his arrival grunted awake to hum his approval before dropping back into his stupor. In the midst of it, Finn felt small and unneeded. Nay, unwanted.

Snap came up behind Poe to jubilantly grip and shake both his friend’s shoulders before removing the microphone from its stand. “Let’s give it up for Poe Dameron!” he shouted, and was met with another round of varying-degrees-of-drunken applause. Poe looked bashful, but had easily slipped back into sociable-leader mode. For the first time ever, it didn’t brighten Finn’s day- he wanted to understand more of the bare feelings behind Poe’s eyes. The tall man went on, raising a glass of green stuff that had somehow appeared in his unoccupied hand, “Here’s to the Resistance, and its finest General!” Poe rolled his eyes, flashing the audience a smile that made Finn’s intestines flip. But Snap clearly wasn’t done yet. “Aaand,” he drawled. Poe side-eyed him apprehensively, “here’s to hoping that a certain ex-Stormtrooper gets his head out of his ass, am I right people??” The crowd laughed and cheered in response, although it was possible many were so drunk they would have cheered for anything said loud enough. But Snap & Poe’s X-Wing squad broke into a chorus of “oooh”s and giggles like a group of raucous middle schoolers conspiring around a secret. Poe shot the table a glare, but there was no force behind it. He looked suddenly tired, and older than his 34 years. Similarly, when he stood up he gave the impromptu MC an impotent but nonetheless affectionate shove. If Finn was listening, he could have just barely made out a mumbled “shut up, man”. But Finn wasn’t listening. In fact, he could no longer hear anything except possibly the sound of his own brain blowing a fuse.

Here’s to hoping that a certain ex-Stormtrooper gets his head out of his ass. A certain ex-Stormtrooper. Head of out of his ass. Ex-stormtrooper? Finn couldn’t comprehend the words that had just come out of the commander’s mouth. There was only one person in the entire galaxy that fit that description- and he was sitting right there at the bar, mouth gaping and heart racing like an ice fox high on engine fumes (yes, he did know how fast that was. It was a long and at that time thoroughly irrelevant story). Finn couldn’t believe it. He must have imagined the other man’s words, so desperate was he for his love to be requited..

As if on cue, Snap turned his head and stared across the crowded room- directly into Finn’s eyes. Without missing a beat, the man on stage raised his eyebrows at Finn, looked pointedly at Poe, and then looked back to Finn. His meaning could not be mistaken- Hey. I’m talking about you and him. Kriff. Finn felt exposed, vulnerable. It seemed that, even though Poe hadn’t seen him enter the cantina, someone had. The ambush of attention left him a little shellshocked, but Finn’s brain soon caught up. Snap had looked at him. He had made that toast about ex-Stormtroopers knowing he was in the audience. He was one of Poe’s closest friends, and thus presumably knew the man’s romantic secrets. Which all meant...

Finn felt a heady sensation spread through him, starting in his sternum and extending out through the tips of his fingers and toes. It felt like the handful of times when he had managed to completely let go of his anxieties and memories and solely feel the Force flowing through him- only a thousand times more powerful. He felt drunk, and at the same time completely sober. A grin was forcing its way onto his mouth, splitting open his flushed face into an expression of pure delight. Across the room he saw Snap give a knowing smirk and step away from the singer. Finn dimly acknowledged the action, making a mental note to thank the man later. His eyes were still laser-focused on Poe, who was busying himself putting away his guitar. He let himself be drawn like a magnet across the room, pushing through the crowd as though they didn’t exist. Finn was aware he was walking faster than normal, steps bouncing like he was lighter than air, like the world had shifted and suddenly the bar existed on a shimmering moon where the gravity was lower and the atmosphere thinner. It might as well have. Hell, they could be transported into the heart of Starkiller Base and Finn wouldn’t give a womp rat’s ass. The only thing he needed was to get to Poe. He felt like maybe his world had always been off-balance, missing a key piece, and now it was shifting on its axis. Suddenly, all at once, like falling- or flying.

It meant that Poe Dameron was in love with Finn.

Poe was still looking down at the table in front of him when Finn arrived at his side. The man’s dark brown eyes were unfocused, mind lost somewhere in space. Finn put a warm hand on his shoulder to grab his attention, and when Poe turned towards him Finn got to witness a flurry of emotions cross the other man’s face- surprise, shock, alarm, embarrassment, pain, want, finally settling into a mask of indifferent friendliness that strained at the edges. Finn’s smile, though, was indestructible. He knew better.

“Hey, buddy.” Poe stuttered out, stubbly cheeks reddening a little despite his best efforts to keep cool. “How’s it- how are- what’s up?” Finn had never seen the man so flustered before. He couldn’t help it- he started to snicker, then to chuckle, then he just straight-up began to laugh.

Poe looked bemused, brows furrowed, mouth opening a little like a fish searching for the words to say. This just made Finn laugh even more. I struck Poe Dameron speechless. He’s hilariously cute like this. I am in love with completely ridiculous man. I want to make him speechless every day.

Calming down a bit, Finn blurted out, “I heard you playing.” 

The blood drained from Poe’s face. His eyes grew wide, clearly remembering the lyrics he had imbued with such personal emotion- and Snap’s impromptu toast afterwards. Finn could see the thoughts racing through his mind, scrambling to come up with a dissembling explanation. It filled his heart with a fuzzy softness, tugged his smile into an affectionate grin. Love. He continued, “you have a beautiful singing voice, and,” Finn grabbed Poe’s calloused hand in his own and intertwined their fingers. Poe’s were sweaty from playing, and Finn’s were damp from the condensation that had accumulated on his now-abandoned glass. They fit perfectly together. Poe let out a huff of surprise. Finn’s cheek muscles hurt from smiling. “I really liked the song.”

Poe blinked. “You- you did?” The man’s eyes were filled with shock and surprise- and a tiny, bright, shining spark of hope. Finn’s heart was beating against the wall of his chest, begging him to close the distance between the two of them. Locking eyes with the other man, his equally brown and full of shimmering hope and love, Finn brought his face close. At the last second, he closed his eyes, and surged forward the last couple millimeters to kiss Poe Dameron.

It was like magic. They both immediately sunk into the kiss, desperate to be close to each other and pour all those two years’ worth of unspoken feelings into this one beautiful connection. Impossibly, Finn could feel Poe smiling into the kiss, and his heart soared. They were like teenagers- suddenly young again and full of passion, a tangle of limbs and tongues and bumping noses. In the heat of it, Poe softly bit Finn’s lip. Finn let out a small sound, muffling it in the other man’s mouth. They couldn’t have been kissing for more than 15 seconds, but to Finn it felt like eternity was passing- and he was completely ok with that. This was bliss. Why had he kept himself from this, from him? How had he spent so long not loving Poe Dameron?

Out of nowhere, a thought occurred to Finn, and he had to break away from his lover to once more dissolve into giggles. Poe looked down at the gorgeous man in his arms, glowing in the half-light, and huffed out a bewildered, happy laugh of his own. “What?” He asked, sounding a little dazed, like he didn’t yet believe anything this good could really exist outside a dream.

Finn looked at him, lips reddened from kissing and eyes watery from laughing. Poe had to use every ounce of self control in his body not take the man’s face in his hands and start kissing both away. The breathless man said, “I just realized Rey is going to be so pissed at us.” Poe blinked again and cocked his head like a confused puppy, curls hanging off his head like bunches of wild wisteria. Finn wanted nothing more than to dig his hands into them, muss them up beyond recognition until his hands never forgot the feeling. He continued, “I just totally upstaged her big date.” 

Poe stared at him a moment, processing the other man’s words. Then his own face broke into a wide grin. The skin around his eyes creased and crinkled as he allowed himself to laugh unencumbered by pain, a deep laugh that resonated from his diaphragm to his forehead where it had come to rest on Finn’s. The other man was enamored. A mirthful Poe Dameron rivaled the sun.

“You sure did, buddy,” Poe chuckled, before passionately cupping Finn’s face with his hands and indulging his desire to kiss the man once again.

If either of them were listening, they would have heard loud cheering from many of the Resistance fighters around them, including a ringing round of applause from the bartender at her post in the back that was so loud it sent her passed-out punch-drunk patron careening of his seat. They might have even seen a groaning Jess fork over a substantial amount of credits to a smug Snap while Kare looked on, affectionately rolling her eyes at everyone’s ridiculousness. But neither of them did. The only thing Finn and Poe could see was each other. The only thing they could hear was the peals of joyful laughter that snuck their way in between their breathless, ardent, heart-stopping kisses. The only thing they felt was this beautiful thing called love blossoming between them, wrapping around them from within like a song.

**Author's Note:**

> I really want to write an epilogue about Rey and Rose being cute and one of them being offended at Finnpoe for upstaging their date haha


End file.
